This was originally posted by Ms Shell and I wanted to bring it back to the boards for all of us!

Ms Shell,

I wanted to repost what you wrote. When I first read this, it made me cry. It made me stronger in more ways than one. This was one of the most inspirational posts that has entered my life. I want you to remember why you made this choice & why you are taking ACTION!

Hugs,
Jule

Let me take you on a LONG trip that started in 2001 with my mothers FIRST heart attack or I could take you back to 1990 when she was diagnosed with Diabetes and first put on meds oh yeah and diagnosed with High Blood Pressure.  Or I could take you back to the 80's when my mother BAKED the most unbelievable pies and cakes and home made bread or made ice cream...ALL from scratch or I could take you back to about 1978 when I stole a pack of powdered donuts from the neighborhood store cause there was nothing sweet to eat at home THAT day.

Or I could take you to 5:45 am when while running on the treadmill doing my couch to 5k week 2 day 2 run, and I wanted to quit.  WHY because I was TIRED and it was HARD.  Then I thought of my mother who in her last days NEVER wanted to give up her pies and cakes and cookies EVEN though she shot insulin 2-3 times a day, took a HOST of meds, ended up on dialysis because her kidneys got tired of processing the meds.  She told me once "it's ok to eat it cause I go to dialysis tomorrow and they clean out my blood." 

My mother spent her last 3 months on earth, hooked up to machines, bed ridden and in the hospital, but I find excuses for not leaving the house to walk or whatever, life is passing me by and I'm letting it.  Never make the CHOICE not to leave your house.  Get out and see the world cause there are those who actually can't leave the house or hospital or home.

My mothers last 2 years on earth she spent a few hours a day, 3 days a week hooked up to a dialysis machine, but I can't go to the gym 30 minutes a day 3 days a week. 

My mother maneuvered around her home in a scooter because her legs couldn't support her weight, but I'll find the closest parking spot and not use the stairs if I want to say something to someone...or better yet email or phone them.

My mother died December 8, 2006 after she coded during her last dialysis treatment.  My mother ULTIMATELY died over something she could have put an end to.

I started crying on the treadmill and running at 4.7mph asking myself "what do you think is harder, running right or not being able to walk later?"  "What's harder Michelle staying here and finishing your ******g 30 minutes or being hooked up to a machine for hours?"

I realized when I went on Weigh****chers at 318lbs in October 2006 that under NO cir****tances did I want to live like my mother did.  When she died 2 months later I realized I didn't want to DIE like she did either.

I realized in 2007 that I was beyond the point where I could "diet" alone.  I needed SOMETHING anything to HELP me.

I realized today as I ran on the treadmill that ALL my excuses come with a PRICE and that price is my LIFE and so I've been crying almost ALL day because I realize that everytime I give an excuse for not going to the gym or working out a MERE 3 times a week or just walking more (I have that trusty pedometer on.  Or when I eat some "crap" NOT once (because one doesn't hurt) but it's when one turns to two and turns to three and all of a sudden you are sliding down that slippery path.

So today has been about remembering WHY I had WLS, I love my mother more then life and it hurts that her death made me realize what I was doing to myself, but in that same breath, I'm thankful that her death made me wake up.

Mom EVERYTHING I do is in remembrance of you.  I WILL honor my temple because it's what I SHOULD do.  I am perfectly made in HIS image and will do honor to that as well.  I will get out my chair and MOVE more.  I will make eating right and moving more a PRIORITY.

Ms Shell s

WOW!!!  That is truly one of the most heart warming and inspirational things I have read on OH.  I understand the feelings Ms Shell was going through.  My mom died from cancer, but it was the 300 lbs she wore on her body for 20 years and the high blood pressure and diabetes that eventually took her spirit.  Toward the end of her life before she was diagnosed with the Lymphoma (sp), she spent her days sitting on the couch watching TV eating snack foods, like chips and Cheez-it crackers, cookies, sodas and just junk.  Whats worse... I allowed it!.  And now that I sit here and think about myself and how weight loss surgery is the answer for me, I understand now with a clear mind and heart.... IT WONT WORK UNLESS I HELP IT WORK.  I don't want to be like my mother. I don't want to leave this life at a relatively early age (she was only 65 when she passed) and leave my children and husband alone.  I don't want my children feeling the same empty heart I feel when I think of her knowing she isn't here for me to rely on and talk to everyday.  I don't want my spirit to die.

Miss Shell... Thank you for your post from the past.  You are an inspiration... Thank you for this post... it has made me realize what I have and what I need to do to kick myself in the butt and get out, moving and losing, but ultimately whats going to save my life!

Miss Jule... Thank you also for re posting this

Thank you Julie!!  I reread it just yesterday after I posted my regain!!  Thank you thank you thank you!!

Everything I do and everything I am is in remembrance.  I will NOT go back...

Ms Shell,

I just wanted to remind you, of why you ahd this surgery & why you are not a quitter. I loved this post so much, that I sent it to everyone I know. Life has made our paths cross for a reason. God must want us to help each other along our journey. I just wanted you to know, that I am here if you ever need it.

Julie

WOW.

Tears are rolling down my cheeks now.  Thank you Jules and thank you Ms. Shell!

WOW!! Thank you so much for your story...it really opened my eyes, ears and my mind to why I had WLS........

Ms Shells post was and continues to be an inspiration and reminder of why we had wls and how important it is to stay on track.  Thanks to Ms Shell for originally posting this and thanks to Julie for the refresher!
Have a great week!
Terry

 As I write this I am crying.  Why, because I am now going through the struggle that my mom did.  She had back problems too, and I am going through the recovery that she went through at a much older age than I am.  My incentive to do good is because I don't want to end up like she did, I want to get up and move my ass out of this chair and work at walking like I used to, and get rid of this pain and become a whole person once again.  I wish my mom was here to rub my feet like she used to, she always gave and never asked for anything in return during her last years.  She quietly passed away from lung cancer less than 3 years ago.  She never saw me thin.  Behind all of this she left my dad behind, a stubborn Italian man who misses her so much everyday, that he is constantly in heart pain from grief. 

Your reposted letter slapped everything right into my face.  A big reality check.  The things I committed to her before she died, how I would care for my dad, how I would keep this family together and how I would be the strong on in the family. 

Your letter is unbelieveably warm and touching.

Thank you both for posting, it brings everything in my life back into perspective!

Love, Diane